"Do not do unto others as you would they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same."

"A man ought to be able to be fond of his wife without making a fool of himself about her."

"Nobel prize money is a lifebelt thrown to a swimmer who has already reached the shore in safety."

"Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world."

"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."

"The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it."

"Love has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."

"My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."

"I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on."

"When a man cannot choose he ceases to be a man."

"I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me."

"Oh God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!"